


A Single Step

by QueenMissFit



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Dead!JD, F/M, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-19 22:49:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10649688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenMissFit/pseuds/QueenMissFit
Summary: A Single Step can send you to your death or save your life to be wasted by another day...





	A Single Step

_JD has been dead for a while and I can't stand it; the loneliness, the fear of someone finding out all the atrocious acts I was involved in, the guilt, the sorrow, the anguish and the eternal suffering that I feel all the time because he's not here with me. Sure he was a monster but I loved him even when he was trying to blow up the school. The day he warned me not to be there so I stayed home sick._

_He was kind, thoughtful and poetic. A true romantic. Sure, we didn't have the age or money for anyone else's version of forever but I knew we were meant to be. So did he. But what I didn't know was that he was destroying himself. I think that even if I had known I wouldn't of been able to save him. No one would of been able to. He was determined, stubborn and focused._

_I knew he wasn't perfect with his trench coat, combat boots and a smoker's laugh; deep and hoarse. But I don't deserve perfect. I deserve him. Well, I did. But now he's gone, so far out of reach and there was nothing left for me to preserve his memory; to mourn. He had no real friends, I had no friends who cared about him and he had left me nothing of consequence. The only objects he actually cared about and were possible remembrance items were with him when he set the bomb off._

_So here I am, on a bridge in the middle of the night. I have just finished a blue slushie; JD's favourite and I've smoked a pack of cigarettes so I'm ready to jump, to be with him. So, why am I hesitant?_

_Maybe it's because I can see a spectral looking JD sat on the bridge next to me._

_He's not really there. My mind is playing tricks on me to stay alive but for what?_

"Baby you don't have to jump."

"Shut up, you're not real."

"I am real but I'm not alive yet you are. You have a life that you can go live, marry a lawyer, have bratty kids that you have to clean up after but have a calm and normal life."

I could feel the tears burning down my face as they traveled downwards, wishing that he would stop being poetic.

"Your life has a worth not yet discovered. You will and when you do you will-"

"I don't want to find my life's worth, I don't want anyone else, JD I want you. Even though I can't have you now. YOU'RE DEAD AND I WANT TO BE TOO!"

"Why?" he remained calm whilst I was an emotional mess, screaming and sobbing whilst on the verge of suicide.

"BECAUSE I AM LONELY. YOU LEFT ME ALONE! I AM ALL ALONE," I sighed and then calmly said, "No one cares about me, you know that, JD. So it's better I come join you."

"Is it?"

"Well, yeah. No one likes me and the love of my life is dead. What do I have to live for?"

He paused and then said, "A life I never would of been able to give you. What life would we of had together? Us always moving never stopping for anything but money. I wouldn't be able to find a job to help my wife. What life is that? No, it's better this way. I got what I deserved but it's not too late for you. Y/n, baby, please, get down from this bridge and go home."

My breathing is so uneven I feel like I'm going to be sick.

Yet he continues, "There is a boy at our school who will make you happy. Trust me Y/N and go live your life."

"But I love you."

His eyes soften and I melt as he says, "I love you too. Which is why you have to let go of me. You have to move on and go live your life. See the world. Do amazing things. Y/N L/N if you die on this bridge tonight all you will have is a stupid teenager who let greed and his own ideas of heroism consume him rather than the man and the the family you deserve."

With a nod I make my decision and take a step...


End file.
